Jan. 11th
Sunday night, 8th. We arrived Aruba, extremely windy place with lotsnof constructions , wind is so strong, I see it and believe it, the trees grow side way, nothing tall, trees just grow like a big umbrella , grass grow the same way, close to ground, lots of pound, rain every night, sunny in the day. It just stat to development , downtown is like china old country side. No organization on the city lay out, poorly designed buildings randomly standing any where, Without wind, it is very hot, burning, but, wind blow the white sand into the beautiful beach. Beach water is kind of dirty. Not clear, beach can never clear links other careabean water.
We rent a villa, cross road is beach, very beautiful sun set , you can see from deck every day. Beach in front of villa is rocky, few white sand, to my surprise, I found lot of conch, one baby conch still alive when I caught it, and live for 24hrs till I put back into water. Day time, I can go beach , afternoon see sunset, evening, cheer out under breeze and watch little animal come to deck, the hybr- crab, live in shell of other animal, craw pretty fast, Lazard, frog, bird.
Villa has kitchen, we went out to buy some sea food, plan is seafood for one week. Eat healthy, However I was so surprise to find out 7/10 supermarket are owned by Chinese, all the Chinese food there, much more than Halifax. Price is 3 to 4 times more Halifax , 5/6 times ore than Toronto. I was amazed by how many Chinese supermarket in this small island, even IGA is owned by Chinese , well orgernize and sell to western customers. If TNT comes to here they will make good money. More over, can not buy seafood in supermarket, only found 1 seafood counter after visited 7 to 8 stores and has very few seafood. Everything is so expensive in the island , I do. Not know how people affort live there. It must be different than what i saw. A Pantene shampoo costs 12 gultts ( they use island money, special coint and bill from aruba ) , like 14 dollar.
Out villa is closed to high rised hotel, like Hyatt, Marriott, Ritz. Big ritz still in construction, massive , used a lots of beach front land. Here maybe is the last un developed ocean front land left in the world, so many big hotel all inclusive come in just for this. However, when you go to beach. Wind is none stop. 24 hours wind make people so aggressive . No patient for anything, imagine a noise beside your ears constantly. Hair blow away all the time, hot and sweat.... I do not have mood to enjoy anything there.
I can not sleep for 2 nights, AC made big noise and mosquitos bite me all over. He got sick, diarrhea all day alone, bedroom is smelly and we made love inside, very uncomfortable feeling, bed is very poor quality , hot and sweat, I am awake every night to hear the wind blow like storm outside. , neighbor is building a house, 8:00am sharp, noise start, I have to get up early.
We drove around the island, bad signs, but we got to see the whole island during lost in directions, we leave home and always back from different road. Monday, we stayed in beach for 1 hour, tuesday, we went to 3/4 beaches finally can stay in one with less wind noise. Sit down for less than an hour fight start. I started to be nerverse of Chinese new year shipping as no one control in office. Start to blame Fabian can not control, He is totally stress out and piss off, He decided to go back to Canada . Change ticket. We stopped talking, he stopped eating too, stay inside bedroom watch Netflix all day alone. I am so bored and on top of it, has to cook my own meal, I rarely enjoy cooking, burned the pot on first day, there is only salt and oil to cook. I treat myself like shit . Going back is not a bad idea.
We landed aruba Sunday, decided to leave on Wednesday, villa and car are all paid for 7days, we waste money. fight was on Tuesday, Wednesday noon we started to making out. Finally, we forgive each other i think, but, still want to leave, here is a crazy place, I will never come back.
I went on beach last time see kite surf, due to the wind, people can kite surf all day alone here. Very impressive, when you see the kite on the sky during sunset is very unique . This is the most popular activity in the island. After lunch we started to pack and drive to airport, sign is poor here, we lost, 3:55 flight, 2:50 we still try to find where is air port, return the car, rush to counter. We are the last 2 passenger, I have the most sweat in past ten years during this running around, he went to run terminal. I finally find him , and realized we have to go through US custom here before departure, nice hostess give us short cut all the way, we made it. Will sleep in newark tonight, I felt world is small, we went from 85 degree to 42, from swimming in ocean to ski, just all in same week.
He told me he love me so much but I piss of him all the time. I still think about Wilber all the time, not love. It is a feeling like we are connects. Still confuse in my heart.
I am happy tomorrow can see my daughter again , and the dog. .
Dealing with business in the whole morning when I was in hotel, he is there watching Netflix . I was thinking : am I doing too much for business? The answe is no. When I am still capable to do business, I want an achievement, this is the thing I am doing good, I need to keep on going to take the max. Of it.
Other part of life : like fun is important to to help me keep a happy life and make the money worth it. But for time being is not first priority.
Seasy will be with me in limited years , I need to spend more times with her and and to make her future happy. Trip is against this.
Ok, after listed all above, I know what I want, now is how to get a balance point for
1. What is good for Seasy
2. What is good for me and George's relationship
3. George's health
4. Business
This is not going to be easy to balance all of this at same time. As his priority is totally different than me, his kids and health go first, his happiness goes 3rd and our relationship goes 4th. But there must be a way . It all depend how hard you are looking for it and how fast you can get it.
Today, when we leave Marriott with shuttle, he found a dollar coins made for east carrebean , I was very surprise this coins exist and he found this way, but he always pay attention on coins on the floor. That is why he gets it.
I alway have been a lucky people, many people help me in the past, my road of success is from these supporters. Maybe this time, I have to do things Alone . at my age, with all my experience, I will be able to do it. It will all come together.
This is a shorted vacation, I am happy it finished, a short view for part of the world I never been. I knew now the villa did not work on me. I can nor sleep. I will need hotel for vacation, better bed, last night, the bed is so nice I sleep very good.
My gut feeling is not go on feb. as he will be so un comfortable and sick and we will fight. However, still feels it is so attractive to be somewhere I never being. I really want to see the place where he grown up. The wine castle , morocco Deseret .....still want to go. It will be a balance, if we go, I have to be alert and think more about his health. Means
1. Do more things alone
2. Consider his feeling before talk about anything
3. Think in different way than normal , remember I am with a patient. I really do not want to remember this, somehow , my body reject this.
I will think more about this .
Sunday night, 8th. We arrived Aruba, extremely windy place with lotsnof constructions , wind is so strong, I see it and believe it, the trees grow side way, nothing tall, trees just grow like a big umbrella , grass grow the same way, close to ground, lots of pound, rain every night, sunny in the day. It just stat to development , downtown is like china old country side. No organization on the city lay out, poorly designed buildings randomly standing any where, Without wind, it is very hot, burning, but, wind blow the white sand into the beautiful beach. Beach water is kind of dirty. Not clear, beach can never clear links other careabean water.
We rent a villa, cross road is beach, very beautiful sun set , you can see from deck every day. Beach in front of villa is rocky, few white sand, to my surprise, I found lot of conch, one baby conch still alive when I caught it, and live for 24hrs till I put back into water. Day time, I can go beach , afternoon see sunset, evening, cheer out under breeze and watch little animal come to deck, the hybr- crab, live in shell of other animal, craw pretty fast, Lazard, frog, bird.
Villa has kitchen, we went out to buy some sea food, plan is seafood for one week. Eat healthy, However I was so surprise to find out 7/10 supermarket are owned by Chinese, all the Chinese food there, much more than Halifax. Price is 3 to 4 times more Halifax , 5/6 times ore than Toronto. I was amazed by how many Chinese supermarket in this small island, even IGA is owned by Chinese , well orgernize and sell to western customers. If TNT comes to here they will make good money. More over, can not buy seafood in supermarket, only found 1 seafood counter after visited 7 to 8 stores and has very few seafood. Everything is so expensive in the island , I do. Not know how people affort live there. It must be different than what i saw. A Pantene shampoo costs 12 gultts ( they use island money, special coint and bill from aruba ) , like 14 dollar.
Out villa is closed to high rised hotel, like Hyatt, Marriott, Ritz. Big ritz still in construction, massive , used a lots of beach front land. Here maybe is the last un developed ocean front land left in the world, so many big hotel all inclusive come in just for this. However, when you go to beach. Wind is none stop. 24 hours wind make people so aggressive . No patient for anything, imagine a noise beside your ears constantly. Hair blow away all the time, hot and sweat.... I do not have mood to enjoy anything there.
I can not sleep for 2 nights, AC made big noise and mosquitos bite me all over. He got sick, diarrhea all day alone, bedroom is smelly and we made love inside, very uncomfortable feeling, bed is very poor quality , hot and sweat, I am awake every night to hear the wind blow like storm outside. , neighbor is building a house, 8:00am sharp, noise start, I have to get up early.
We drove around the island, bad signs, but we got to see the whole island during lost in directions, we leave home and always back from different road. Monday, we stayed in beach for 1 hour, tuesday, we went to 3/4 beaches finally can stay in one with less wind noise. Sit down for less than an hour fight start. I started to be nerverse of Chinese new year shipping as no one control in office. Start to blame Fabian can not control, He is totally stress out and piss off, He decided to go back to Canada . Change ticket. We stopped talking, he stopped eating too, stay inside bedroom watch Netflix all day alone. I am so bored and on top of it, has to cook my own meal, I rarely enjoy cooking, burned the pot on first day, there is only salt and oil to cook. I treat myself like shit . Going back is not a bad idea.
We landed aruba Sunday, decided to leave on Wednesday, villa and car are all paid for 7days, we waste money. fight was on Tuesday, Wednesday noon we started to making out. Finally, we forgive each other i think, but, still want to leave, here is a crazy place, I will never come back.
I went on beach last time see kite surf, due to the wind, people can kite surf all day alone here. Very impressive, when you see the kite on the sky during sunset is very unique . This is the most popular activity in the island. After lunch we started to pack and drive to airport, sign is poor here, we lost, 3:55 flight, 2:50 we still try to find where is air port, return the car, rush to counter. We are the last 2 passenger, I have the most sweat in past ten years during this running around, he went to run terminal. I finally find him , and realized we have to go through US custom here before departure, nice hostess give us short cut all the way, we made it. Will sleep in newark tonight, I felt world is small, we went from 85 degree to 42, from swimming in ocean to ski, just all in same week.
He told me he love me so much but I piss of him all the time. I still think about Wilber all the time, not love. It is a feeling like we are connects. Still confuse in my heart.
I am happy tomorrow can see my daughter again , and the dog. .
Dealing with business in the whole morning when I was in hotel, he is there watching Netflix . I was thinking : am I doing too much for business? The answe is no. When I am still capable to do business, I want an achievement, this is the thing I am doing good, I need to keep on going to take the max. Of it.
Other part of life : like fun is important to to help me keep a happy life and make the money worth it. But for time being is not first priority.
Seasy will be with me in limited years , I need to spend more times with her and and to make her future happy. Trip is against this.
Ok, after listed all above, I know what I want, now is how to get a balance point for
1. What is good for Seasy
2. What is good for me and George's relationship
3. George's health
4. Business
This is not going to be easy to balance all of this at same time. As his priority is totally different than me, his kids and health go first, his happiness goes 3rd and our relationship goes 4th. But there must be a way . It all depend how hard you are looking for it and how fast you can get it.
Today, when we leave Marriott with shuttle, he found a dollar coins made for east carrebean , I was very surprise this coins exist and he found this way, but he always pay attention on coins on the floor. That is why he gets it.
I alway have been a lucky people, many people help me in the past, my road of success is from these supporters. Maybe this time, I have to do things Alone . at my age, with all my experience, I will be able to do it. It will all come together.
This is a shorted vacation, I am happy it finished, a short view for part of the world I never been. I knew now the villa did not work on me. I can nor sleep. I will need hotel for vacation, better bed, last night, the bed is so nice I sleep very good.
My gut feeling is not go on feb. as he will be so un comfortable and sick and we will fight. However, still feels it is so attractive to be somewhere I never being. I really want to see the place where he grown up. The wine castle , morocco Deseret .....still want to go. It will be a balance, if we go, I have to be alert and think more about his health. Means
1. Do more things alone
2. Consider his feeling before talk about anything
3. Think in different way than normal , remember I am with a patient. I really do not want to remember this, somehow , my body reject this.
I will think more about this .
